I am not a code monkey
What happens when people have tons of ideas.
![Hi,
Prof. [redacted] and her research team is looking for design expert coders to code ~150 prototypes that will be built throughout this quarter and the next quarter. Your main role will be evaluating prototypes in several objective scales by viewing 1~2 min. video on the explanation of each prototype. We are expecting 1~2 hour commitment for every other week throughout the rest of this quarter and the next quarter. We are expecting the total working hour will sum up to around 15 hours, and will be paying $14/hr, but this can be negotiable. Anyone with some kind of product design experience will be highly relevant.
Thanks,
[redacted]
We were notified here that in this case the author meant “coding” in the form of “evaluate” but it certainly didn’t prevent several of us CS folks from falling out of our chairs.
Thank you to Daniel for today’s submission.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lznkygcmeF1qh96ero1_1280.jpg)
Hi,
Prof. [redacted] and her research team is looking for design expert coders to code ~150 prototypes that will be built throughout this quarter and the next quarter.
Your main role will be evaluating prototypes in several objective scales by viewing 1~2 min. video on the explanation of each prototype. We are expecting 1~2 hour commitment for every other week throughout the rest of this quarter and the next quarter. We are expecting the total working hour will sum up to around 15 hours, and will be paying $14/hr, but this can be negotiable. Anyone with some kind of product design experience will be highly relevant.Thanks,
[redacted]
“Do you know any good designers?”
This may be the most painful appeal I have ever seen. In this 5-page manifesto that starts with “we tear down Monopolies [sic]”, a man by the name of Ming tries to convince you that:
a) “we give all collective pricing power back to people” by “ending all human labor by the use of robots” because “people are supposed to be born to have fun and joy and not to be born to make ends meet” (page 1)
b) “All people on Earth should join Ming to accomplish this goal in the not too distant future” (page 1)
c) “We end all suicide attempts” and “we give people new life” (page 2)
d) “It could be the biggest IPO in the history of capitalism” (page 3)
e) the company could make “Yahoo, Facebook, LinkedIn, eBay, Craigslist and many others obsolete in the coming years” (page 4)
f) “you can retire with the success of this project within a year or two” (page 5)
The Next Social Network
Hi,
I saw your were a computer science major and so am I. I thought maybe you would be interested in a website I am working on. It’s a new social networking site. [orly] This site has a multitude of innovative and unique functions. [do go on, you have me hooked] It is unlike any other social network around. I am actually located in Palo Alto about 5 minutes from standford [sic] and will be at the campus hiring new employees next week. This will be the next social network of our time. Based on your major I was wondering if you would be interested in something like this?
Arrived by email, January 2, and sent via TN.
Dear Christine, I wish I shared your optimism
Ever dream of forming the next Facebook, Google+ or LinkedIn? [Uhm…]
UI designer & back-end programmer - please be experienced, have an entrepreneurial mind-set, and most importantly, have time to code! [aka be my code monkey/bitch]
A new social network, that appeals to all who want more out of their current social networks [gasp]. Imagine a social network that maximizes your life both online and offline. One that stands out above the rest! It’s different, better, and meets a demand. Best of all, it’s easy to use!
My website has already gained a lot of traction; we’re on Facebook, YouTube, WordPress and Twitter!!! [I’m suspicious about the three exclamation marks]
The next Groupon is for geeks and their cats
Kudos to LB for inspiring this post’s theme.
Hi CS students!
My name is [redacted] and I am currently taking some time off from Stanford to work on an amazing start-up led by phenomenal people. Joining a start-up like this is the reason that I came to Stanford. This is not Groupon for cats or another photo app; we are building something that will completely change the way people use computers. [really] We’re solving hard problems with cutting-edge technology [oh?], and we are inviting CS students with networking, socket, and multi-threading experience to join our team. [That typically means real-time push notifications to a site. Yawn] We are VC-funded, with brand-name investors and advisors looking to contribute to this awesome project.
If you love solving the big problems and think you’d thrive in a fast-paced startup environment, please contact us at [redacted]. If hired, you can expect extremely generous equity & salary options, free housing in Sunnyvale, and a chance to network with star investors and advisors of Silicon Valley.
That would be called Last.fm
Never again.
Hi [redacted] My friends and I (all UC Berkeley students) are building a web-based music indexing and social recommendation service. Think IMDB meets Twitter for songs, artists, albums, and shows/concerts. Amazing it doesn’t exist already, huh? We have two backend engineers and a business major, but still need a front-end person. We found your resume online, and you seem like a perfect match. So we’d love the opportunity to talk. Are you still in the bay area over summer? Would it be possible to meet up over coffee/dinner? — Thank you to TN for submitting this!
Couchsurfing + dating = creepy
*yawn*
Hi,
I understand you are a programmer at Stanford University; if this is incorrect, please disregard my email.
I’m a young entrepreneur looking for someone with a technical background to start an internet project.
I will provide funding, idea, design, and you will need to provide the technical expertise, coding, programming, engineering of the network.
I have a graphic designer, investor, and two database programmers on the team so far. However, I am seeking someone with exceptional skills to become the technical team lead/main programmer/engineering director of the website. Once this tech lead understands the requirements of the project, we can coordinate additional team members as you see fit.
My capital investment partner, and myself, truly believe this project will be of value, and have completed in-depth market research/business plan.
Although the project in progress differs greatly, a website comparable in terms of framework is couchsurfing.com, zoosk.com, or plentyoffish.com
If you believe you can program/engineer a website with similar capabilities, you are an ideal candidate.
If you do decide you are interested in joining the team for this venture, or would like to simply meet and hear the proposal, please contact me and we will arrange a conference.
